Drown me now.

Speaking physically, as I am prone to, Jennifer Connelly hit the genetic jackpot: face, eyes, nose, legs, hips, height –name them she got ‘em good. It is all the more dumbfounding therefore to find a specimen of her caliber manage to look so wrong.

Connelly is doing the pressers and premieres for Noah,  Darren Aronofsky’s ecologically millennial take on the Biblical story. Given my abhorrence of millennial narratives as such (ecological even more so) and the fact that I think Aronofsky is a self-important creep with pathetically clichéd theories about art and life, I have no desire to see his latest creation. Dark Swan, that comedy of a tragedy, was more than enough. But I enjoy seeing major actors get dressed up and being forced to smile for publicity. It evens out the playfield of life, if only a bit. But oh, perhaps the directors obsession with S&M has rubbed off on one of his stars – otherwise I have no good explanation for this:

.

A McQueen gown so over-thought that it should have been tarred and feathered

Or this Chanel:

A shower curatain designed by M.C. Escher?

Or this Vuitton:

The top is like a bad after burp, a profoundly wrong take on Katherine Hepburn’s dress from Philadelphia Story:

Or this Givenchy:

That looks like something the girl child put together when she was attempting to bedazzle her doll, once when she was much younger than today..

Even the looks where Connelly did not look like a hot mess were hardly well put together. Take this for example:

A standard dress, but kinda too heavy for the season, wrong shoe, boring accessories.

Or this:

An interesting dress, the color works on her – but oh, what is that shoe doing there??? And the hair…

Or, finally this:

The  top and skirt are actually kind of fantastic on her, although again wrong for the spring season. BUT THE BOOTIES??? For the love of god, people why are there red booties here? Why? Even on a prefect specimen like Connelly booties with a skirt is a tricky look at best, wrong wrong wrong at worst. And this – say it with me in Aretha Franklin’s voice – is W.R.O.N.G.

A question ladies- who is to blame for such travesties? The star herself who wrongly thinks she is capable of a stylist’s work or her stylist?

Quick research on the internet lists Lesie Fremar, arguably Hollywood’s most powerful stylist as the one working with Connelly.  

Hm…

Black and White

It’s a weakness. Almost an addiction -  I’m helpless to resist an item of clothing made using that simple combination.  There is a store in New York (La Garconne)  that I am afraid to enter – most of what it carries is black & white (more about the curatorial principle of that store another time). I suppose I am lucky almost nothing there is within my reach.

Writing the ‘Wear to Work’ posts I came across a few of these, most in a price point that can be labeled only as fantastical. This post, then, is a form of wish fulfillment.

The first two are by Zero+Maria Cornejo.  I’ve already mentioned Cornejo.  LP – you will be happy to know she’s Chilean by birth. And her work is amazing. Her style is structural yet with a bit of slouch, minimalist yet punched up with blasts of vibrant color, edgy yet somehow kind to women’s bodies. It is as if she thinks of lumps and insecurities in her design process. The designer I would contrast to her - unfavorably - is Giogrio Armani – who by and large would like to pretend that women are shaped like tall lanky boys, with no hips or boobs. But then her label her much smaller. Here check it out:

Japanese designers, so often minimalist with color,  work with this combo as well. This is from Yohji Yamamoto’s Y’S line:

Narciso Rodriguez, the king of sleek and stunningly simple:

And finally the more high street brand 3.1. Philip Lim:

Now, where is that lottery ticket???

In Praise of the Color Orange - 3

Now, as opposed to the meek excuse for Orange that Zara produced in their catalog, THIS, ladies, is the real deal:

Awesome, perfect, ideal ORANGE.

Wear To Work Series: The Slouchy Jacket

Offices are always cold. Even the most perfect, imaginary ones. So what do you wear on top of your dress, say?

You could go with a blazer. But a structured blazer and a dress can read too harsh and blunt, even in the most fashionista environment.

You could go with a cardigan. But cardigans do have that unfortunate reputation for schoolmarmishness and a stolid, wooly, professorial air (which, surely, explains why I adore cardigans of all shapes, colors, and cuts). 

The solution? Unstructured jackets, without as much definition and cut from a slouchier fabric.

The perfect place to find them is one of my favorite stores in North America – Antrhropologie. While some of their wares can be a little hippy or doily or precious or all of the above, somehow they always carry the best unstructured jackets.

On the less casual side you have this, perfect with its rounded shoulder and silky fabric:

Or this, with its gorgeous detail in the back:

This isn’t too shabby either, if a little predictable:

More casual? How about this?

Or this?

Sure, stores other than Anthro carry similar things as well. My favorite is probably this, from Shopbop (total lust – it is striped after all!):

Wear To Work Series: the Black Pump

Perhaps the most versatile shoe in our closets, although personally I believe, like Bach, in variations on a theme – hence I have a collection, not a closet. Just one black pump is never enough. You need different heels, different vamps, different fabric. That said I do subscribe to the idea that there should be a black, rather plainly classic shoe in one's collection. I have two - one pointy, one rounded. 

The stripper shoes of last year – rounded toe, super high heel, platform – are on their way out. Round toes are rare. The hottest shoe currently is the D’orsay pump, here executed perfectly by Vince:

Asymmetry by Wang (lust):

Lower heel, wedge by Sigerson Morrison (want!):

Black does not have to be solid – a little variation can do wonders:

If you are absolutely against a pointy toe, here’s a classy option:

 Want a sturdier heel?

Embellished?

Cheaper version?

Funkier?

Funkier B, bi-color?

Wear To Work Series: What to Pair With Navy?

It is spring, even in polar-vortexed Boston. My fingers are itching for a new wardrobe. To exorcise my lust, virtual shopping ensues.

A few caveats, ladies, before we dive into this.

‘Wear to Work’ – does not mean YOUR work. It is that perfect, imaginary workplace, both chic and slightly formal, where you dress up, but are allowed every now and then to dress down. A place where you want to look professional but funky, formal yet retain your edge. Most of us do not work there. That said, most of the basic rules that underlie these posts are applicable to all wardrobe – just take it down a notch or two on the ladder of formality. How? Lower the heel, remove the structure from the garment, dull the color contrast – and presto, you’re in your average office situation.

“Wear” has to do with real bodies, of different shapes and sizes. There is no ONE FIT ALL rule in dressing well. If you have short legs you can’t wear the same color contrasting bottoms as a girl with mile high ones. If you have hips stay away from peplum tops. The list goes on, but like with caveat number 1, you can adjust.

So let’s get crackin’.

In a neat fashion dogma reversal, if you asked me 10 years ago what I thought of folded or pushed up blazer sleeves I would gag, with an image of Don Johnson’s large, pinkish, blazer with upturned sleeves burning a hole in my mind’s eye. Now? I love ‘em. Black blazers are fantastic, but easily transgress into dressy. There is always gray, the new black, and my personal preference.

 But - How About Navy?

Navy, color of the Sloane Rangers. Color of neutral respectability. My mom’s favorite hue. It is a tricky color to get funky with.

My suggestions are:

1) The most obvious: Navy blazer + White slacks. Not too slim cut, for that Katherine Hepburn look with a good dash of sailor drag thrown in (needless to say I adore anything sailor. I own more striped items of clothing than a 19^th century prison, and if I had the hips I’d never get out of sailor pants). Pair with solid color, probably white or dove gray on top, white shoes. Sandals would work too.

High End:

- wide

- Not that wide, but in my book a bit blah:

Given the neutral color architectural detail can work but will be tricky depending on length of blazer:

2) Punch a dull navy with color, like so: Navy Blazer + Red or Orange cropped pant. Slim cut, rolled up.  Red and navy are an expected combo, but orange and navy (especially if the navy is on the duller side tone-wise) is an awesome look. Pair again with either white, dove gray, or stripes. This one you can pull off with oxfords on the bottom, but if heels are your thing go for white or nude pumps.  Again, sandals would work as well.

- Killa:

- Hot

- I love the 'good girl' vibe of these if contrasted with some harder edge jewelry:

Cheaper version:

super classy:

3) Tone-on-Tone: Navy blazer on top + Different shade / pattern blue pant on bottom. Again, I would advocate for a slimmer cut, although here given that the color is not as wild as in option 2 you can go for structural detail – pleated waistline for example. I would recommend slightly rolled up hems for a spring-time look. Pairing here truly depends on your choice of pant and is therefore hard to generalize. 

High End: 

- Different blue 1

- Perfect ultramarine blue, one of my top 3 favorite colors on the spectrum:

- A cheap version of the above:

- pale pale aqua:

- Marant - too funky?

- same as the white ones above, by one of my absolute favorite brands - Zero Maria Cornejo:

- doves

- Cheaper version and not quite as dovish:

- Even Cheaper version and not quite as cute:

Cheaper & STRIPES!

Oh,yeah, and if you want a perfect sailor look - I'd kill for these (although getting the blazer color right will be tricky):