Drown me now.

Speaking physically, as I am prone to, Jennifer Connelly hit the genetic jackpot: face, eyes, nose, legs, hips, height –name them she got ‘em good. It is all the more dumbfounding therefore to find a specimen of her caliber manage to look so wrong.

Connelly is doing the pressers and premieres for Noah,  Darren Aronofsky’s ecologically millennial take on the Biblical story. Given my abhorrence of millennial narratives as such (ecological even more so) and the fact that I think Aronofsky is a self-important creep with pathetically clichéd theories about art and life, I have no desire to see his latest creation. Dark Swan, that comedy of a tragedy, was more than enough. But I enjoy seeing major actors get dressed up and being forced to smile for publicity. It evens out the playfield of life, if only a bit. But oh, perhaps the directors obsession with S&M has rubbed off on one of his stars – otherwise I have no good explanation for this:

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A McQueen gown so over-thought that it should have been tarred and feathered

Or this Chanel:

A shower curatain designed by M.C. Escher?

Or this Vuitton:

The top is like a bad after burp, a profoundly wrong take on Katherine Hepburn’s dress from Philadelphia Story:

Or this Givenchy:

That looks like something the girl child put together when she was attempting to bedazzle her doll, once when she was much younger than today..

Even the looks where Connelly did not look like a hot mess were hardly well put together. Take this for example:

A standard dress, but kinda too heavy for the season, wrong shoe, boring accessories.

Or this:

An interesting dress, the color works on her – but oh, what is that shoe doing there??? And the hair…

Or, finally this:

The  top and skirt are actually kind of fantastic on her, although again wrong for the spring season. BUT THE BOOTIES??? For the love of god, people why are there red booties here? Why? Even on a prefect specimen like Connelly booties with a skirt is a tricky look at best, wrong wrong wrong at worst. And this – say it with me in Aretha Franklin’s voice – is W.R.O.N.G.

A question ladies- who is to blame for such travesties? The star herself who wrongly thinks she is capable of a stylist’s work or her stylist?

Quick research on the internet lists Lesie Fremar, arguably Hollywood’s most powerful stylist as the one working with Connelly.  

Hm…