Onesies – or Fashion Dogma Reversed

MW’s grown up, very NY, daughter wore a jumpsuit to her mom’s bday party. It was black, and strapless , if memory serves, and pleated around the waistline. A onesie with pleats. Should have been a disaster but looked fantastically chic.  

Until that moment my opinion of jumpsuits was eminently negative. Overwhelmingly negative. And just like that it was reversed. I remember feeling that way about leggings. And then one day I broke down and wore them.

Do I – do we – go back on our fashion dogmas that easily?

I promise to consider this at some length and report. Meanwhile lets address jumpsuits.

Jumpsuits have been popping up on runways for about two years now, creeping into the evening attire sections of department stores, worn by celebs.

Here are a few recent sightings, all mostly positive:

Margot Robbie in Paper London: Slightly too shiny, but not bad overall.

Naomi Watts in Elie Saab – the lace panels I don’t love (and I actually do like some lace) but lovely color and good fit:

Charlize Theron in Jason Wu: ok fine, you will all scream that Theron here will look good in anything. Sure. But this 80s vibe getup is all kinds of funky.

Kristin Bell in Jenny Peckham: I think Bell is too petite to support such a strong shoulder but I actually think she’s rocking this.

And now for the NO, SHILED YOUR EYES section of our post:

Rosasrio Dawson in DVF: all kinds of no. Such a deliberately on point interpretation of the late 70s early 80s look reads almost costume.

Lizzie Caplan in Houghton: I love Lizzie Caplan’s look. I can’t say that “Masters of Sex” rocked my boat in any way (in fact I thought the show succeeded in making sex sleep-inducing) but I love how she looks in the show, her hair, her costuming. This, however, is NOT working for me – the lace over all too obvious nude, the narrow pant leg:

Naomie Harris in Monique Lhullier: Naomie Harris can pull off tricky looks but this is just too much lace and cheap stretch fabric:

And, to crown things – Julia Roberts in Valentino. Where to start? The woman with exaggerated features wearing an outfit with exaggerated features, in an exaggerated color, making my eyes hurt.

So why, you may ask, do some jumpsuits work and other don’t?

1) the sensitive crotch area – the garment has to be constructed flawlessly, avoiding making your ladyparts an awkward target area.

2) ratio of pant leg to top part: jumpsuits do not work when too narrow (see: L. Caplan) because they start looking suspiciously like adult onesies. But pantsuits with too wide a leg run the risk of making the crotch area look weird (see: J. Roberts) – because the excess fabric has to go somewhere.

Bottom line: I think this is one garment that hippy girls should avoid. Height is not key here, you can be short and trim through the hips and pull it off beautifully. But if you got hips – girl, stay away!